The following post includes fictional excerpts of Clara’s secret notebook. This is an attempt to understand Clara’s relationship to writing as well as her connection to her intended audience, regardless of the anachronisms and the language used. It is also an attempt to explore her behavior, bravery, rationality and attachment to other characters based on her portrayal in the novel. Similarly to “Wieland”, this piece of Clara’s writing is addressed to some friends, real or imaginary, yet it always remains personal and a secret whose power she reveals only to herself.
17 August 1761
Daddy’s gone
He’s gone, Millie. I looked everywhere for him. Do you think he found out? I went back to the place where we hid it and dug it out. I placed it back in his secret drawer and told God I was sorry. You should do the same. Do you think he’s mad at us? Daddy said God forgives. We shouldn’t have listened to Theodore. Stealing daddy’s pipe was an evil thing, Millie. Now daddy’s gone and he’ll never come back.
You know what I did yesterday? I went to the temple all by myself. It is not as bad as mommy thinks. She hates that place can you imagine? She wants to have it burned to the ground and doesn’t even let us play near it. If only she knew! I spent a whole night there Millie! I didn’t sleep, of course, just waited. I waited till the sun came out and then hurried back to bed. Today I’m sick and feverish and Nelly feeds me hot soup, uncle Teddy reads me stories, and mommy kisses my forehead ever so often. Only Theodore is annoying as usual, but today they all love me. Oh, no, nothing happened to me at the temple, Millie, I swear! It was so cold I got sick, that’s all. As soon as I’m better we’ll go again.
Uncle Teddy said daddy is a bright star in the sky right now, watching over us. Promise me you’ll come, Millie. We have to make sure daddy doesn’t hate us. Now that he’s so powerful he might even make us real sisters.
Yours always,
Clara
Thursday, November 16th, 1775
Theodore and Catharine have officially announced their engagement. Naturally, I congratulated them and wished them eternal happiness. Wieland is my dearest brother, the family I have left, and Catharine will become by law, my sister. Then why do I feel so melancholic? So unhappy? In my dreams, I see a desolate and deserted Mettingen and my house burnt to ashes. I dare not confide them to Pleyel, for he will surely disregard and belittle my fears. How I dread the day of their upcoming wedding! I do love them both and I believe in their happiness with every fiber of my being. But they shall never part Mettingen. They must never leave me alone.
Last night I dreamt I was running towards my brother’s house, seeking refuge from some impending evil, only to find that he wasn’t there. My knocks on the door persisted but yielded no answer. The building stood in my way, imposing and most gruesome. I woke up, and despite not clearly comprehending the meaning of this vision, I resolved to convince Catharine and Wieland to build their household near my premises. To my relief and sincere excitement, they held no objections. Pleyel joked about my behavior and admitted I was in need of a guardian, so he promised to make frequent visits. I told them about my resolution to rebuild the temple and make it our place of discourse. The temple was the only thing standing in my dreams.
I can close my eyes now and imagine the four of us, spending time together, merrily conversing about a topic or another. Yet again this wave of uncertainty within me overflows. I must be ashamed of dreading the happiest day of their lives. I ought to put my faculties of reason to use and defeat such thoughts. I must not let the fear of being left all alone, in a big empty house to die, overcome me. My dear brother Theodore and my sweet, gentle Catharine are getting married. I should rejoice. God is yoking them together and they vowed to be my family. My peace of mind may resume. Such foolish notions! Our friendship is tightly bound and time will only make it stronger. Nothing shall ever break us apart.
C.W.
I really love what you did here. I particularly liked, how you used a child like tone in the first letter. Especially since it gives us a little insight on how Clara used to think and feel as a child. I was just wondering why Clara? Most of Wieland is narrated was narrated by her.
Interesting take! The different writing styles at different ages and ambiguous purposes (for imaginary or real friends) made me think a lot about authorship with our reading today and others from literary theory.
Particular things I was reminded of while reading this are
– what of an “author”‘s writings should be published (would excerpts of Clara’s writing from her childhood be just as important to her story as those from later in her life? what of the writings she left in her closet that Carwin read? Why are we not privy to those?),
– the unstable nature of the narrator (Clara writing the story in hindsight and here at different ages),
– and the effects of the multiple (male) narratives we get within Clara’s narrative to the story (is it her story?).
This was very intriguing to read ! the change of the tones and narratives between the two letters made me as a reader see how Clara’s character evolved with age, in addition to how she gained a deeper understanding and command of her emotions and feelings.
what grabbed my attention in the second letter is the fact that Clara shows her eternal struggle clearly as apart of her narrative, this eternal struggle between her love for her brother and her desire to be constantly around him has showed me another side of Clara and made me more emphatic towards her.
Good job Konstantina !!
Thank you! I am glad you liked it. As I was reading the novel I was thinking about Clara’s relationship to writing and what has made her so attached to her secret notebook. I imagined it had a personal and significant value because it had been her comfort through difficult times in life. This interpretation made me view Clara’s character differently and, as you said, get insight into her personality and the reasons why she had to act brave even though she was clearly in need of company and feared to be left alone.
I like how these entries straddle the line between public and private. As Noor alludes to above, letters have an uncomfortable way of being both private and public– meant to be between two parties, but then also circulating more widely (whether due to the original recipient reading outloud or passing the letter around, or being later deposited in archives, or passed down to family members). Postcards do this even more spectacularly — a personal message on the back, but one able to be read by anyone who handles the postcard.
So the audience is always layered. Some famous authors know this, and direct others to burn their letters. See, for instance, the recent craziness over T.S. Eliot’s letters to a love interest, Emily Hale, being unsealed after 50 years. (“The Love Letters of T.S. Eliot, New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/04/us/ts-eliot-emily-hale-letters.html)
In Wieland, where do you get the sense that Clara’s letter/novel is 1) meant for her self (“Dear Diary”), 2) meant for her group of friends, or 3) meant for a larger public? How does the fact that the novel is a long letter(s) affect how we think about narration?
Thank you for these!